Should I marry someone that I don't love?
Source : Lisa Gray
I did exactly that. Married someone I didn't love.
I was coming out of a bad relationship with my ex when I met him. I used him to get over my ex. (My ex was cheating on me with multiple women and had gotten someone pregnant, he also raped and physically hit me).
I didn't love the man i married, but he was text book perfect. He had a great job. He was a family man. He cooked. He cleaned. Respected me. Treated me right. Family loved him. And above all else he was loyal.
He was in love with me. He said to give him a chance. I will never forget his words. “I want to look after you and give you all the good things in life”.
I said yes to him with my heart aching over my Ex.
Over the years I forced myself to love him. I forced myself to stop thinking of my ex. I put all my energy into seeing the positive things that my husband was doing in my life.
And now I love him. We've been married 10 years. Sometimes I find myself day dreaming about him when I'm at work. Or checking him out when he's nearby. Thinking what a handsome sexy man I married. What a wonderful father he is to my children. What a great provider. What a great helper. We have a wonderful relationship. He's literally my best friend.
And no- I no longer think about that toxic ex. I'm glad I didn't run with my heart.
Sometimes, your heart can deceive you. Use your mind to think through your decisions and use it to guide your heart.
Source :
Even directly asking them doesn’t guarantee an honest answer. If they think you will be upset or angry, COUNT on them denying it.
A wise spouse understands that “in love” is just a temporary state, and they prefer to stay in a marriage they KNOW. Assuming the two of you ARE content/enough. If so, then no one can come between the two of you, and they will not endanger their marriage by pursuing (or even accepting attention from) someone else.
If not, then it doesn’t take someone else, or an “in love” for the marriage to end. It is precarious and could topple anytime for any reason.
If you are not sure if your marriage IS strong, ask your spouse to go with you for marriage counseling. If they won’t go, they are not interested in working on the marriage … good luck. A good marriage requires ongoing work by both parties for the rest of your lives together.
Source :
Why does a narcissist ignore you after he says he loves you?
It’s simple: the narcissist doesn’t actually love you.
In fact, they might even resent you.
Their goal is to mess up your life as much as possible. Ignoring you is just one of the many ways they play with your emotions.
This is just one of the mind games they use. It gets worse over time. Eventually, they’ll tell you they never loved you, that you forced them into the relationship, and they might even say cruel things like wishing you would disappear.
Then, after causing chaos, they might turn around and say they love you again. They’ll continue their destructive behavior while keeping you confused.
You Might Be Interested In Reading This On Quora:
5 Weird Eating Habits of a Narcissist.
4 Things to Never Say to a Narcissist.
5 Toxic Money Habits of a Narcissist.
4 Issues That Drive Narcissists Crazy.
10 Ugly Truths About Narcissists.
10 Narcissist’s Nonverbal Abuse Tactics.
8 Clear Signs You’re Being Used, Not Loved.
The best thing you can do is walk away, focus on healing, and stop letting them manipulate you.
Source :
Two
years ago my daughter’s school friend asked her out. They were both
sixteen. She had never considered him in that light. She asked him to
give her a few days to think about it. She came home and told me she
felt confused, because she didn’t want to lose him as a friend by saying
no, but at the same time, she couldn’t conjure up romantic feelings for
him. After a week she accepted him as her boyfriend, but she asked him
if they could have a six month trial period. This beautiful soul of a
boy accepted her, frankly quite confidence damning, request. They hung
out most weekends, but it was more as friends than “girl’ and “boy’
friend. Over time she developed feelings for him. She turns eighteen
next month. She asked if her boyfriend could stay over on that night. It
was a slow, but sure flame that ignited there. They now have a lovely
relationship of deep friendship and romantic love. She adores him, and
respects him. He proved to be the best thing that happened to her.
I
don’t know how old you are, or what your friend’s proposal means. Is it
to get together in a romantic relationship, or is it marriage? If it is
the former, the fact that she had the courage to ask you to be with her
in romantic way means she has had feelings for you for quite a long
time. You can be honest with her and tell her you don’t have romantic
feelings for her, but that you do feel a deep connection of friendship.
If you aren’t afraid, ask her if she is prepared to give it a try. If
she agrees, then you still have her friendship, as well as the
possibility of a beautiful relationship built on deep friendship that
matures into love.
Good luck.
Source :
I
would certainly have an answer. I hope that if you love someone, you
can point to some of the great things about them that you love! And I
would go ahead and tell them. In fact, I recommend telling them these
things regularly! Make a point to let your partner know on a regular
basis why you think they are great and watch how your relationship gets
even better!
Source : Doug O'Banion
What is the most romantic thing you have ever seen?
What's
the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen? I was twelve years old in late
1981 or early 1982, when my step-dad (whom raised me and was the only
dad I knew) got suspicious about my mother working very late far too
often. So, he had my older sibl8ngs babysit me while he drove to my
mother's employer's parking lot in the evenings.
I
don't know how many evenings he spotted her in a car with one of her
male co-workers, but I remember that he confronted her and her lover in a
car once.
My
step-dad loved my mom and us children who he was raising well. He
didn't ask for a divorce. Instead he demanded from my mother a ‘fresh
start’ to their marriage. It didn't work.
They reached a divorce agreement in the late spring of 1982.
For
the sake of the reputation of the woman he loved (my mother) he agreed
to never say a word about my mother's infidelity. He accepted all of the
blame himself. He left the marriage with his reputation in taters in
order to save my mother's reputation.
That was the most romantic thing I have ever seen. I heard that he died some years ago. His name was Gary David Hall.
Two years ago my daughter’s school friend asked her out. They were both sixteen. She had never considered him in that light. She asked him to give her a few days to think about it. She came home and told me she felt confused, because she didn’t want to lose him as a friend by saying no, but at the same time, she couldn’t conjure up romantic feelings for him. After a week she accepted him as her boyfriend, but she asked him if they could have a six month trial period. This beautiful soul of a boy accepted her, frankly quite confidence damning, request. They hung out most weekends, but it was more as friends than “girl’ and “boy’ friend. Over time she developed feelings for him. She turns eighteen next month. She asked if her boyfriend could stay over on that night. It was a slow, but sure flame that ignited there. They now have a lovely relationship of deep friendship and romantic love. She adores him, and respects him. He proved to be the best thing that happened to her.
I don’t know how old you are, or what your friend’s proposal means. Is it to get together in a romantic relationship, or is it marriage? If it is the former, the fact that she had the courage to ask you to be with her in romantic way means she has had feelings for you for quite a long time. You can be honest with her and tell her you don’t have romantic feelings for her, but that you do feel a deep connection of friendship. If you aren’t afraid, ask her if she is prepared to give it a try. If she agrees, then you still have her friendship, as well as the possibility of a beautiful relationship built on deep friendship that matures into love.
Good luck.
Source :
I
would certainly have an answer. I hope that if you love someone, you
can point to some of the great things about them that you love! And I
would go ahead and tell them. In fact, I recommend telling them these
things regularly! Make a point to let your partner know on a regular
basis why you think they are great and watch how your relationship gets
even better!
Source : Doug O'Banion
What is the most romantic thing you have ever seen?
What's the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen? I was twelve years old in late 1981 or early 1982, when my step-dad (whom raised me and was the only dad I knew) got suspicious about my mother working very late far too often. So, he had my older sibl8ngs babysit me while he drove to my mother's employer's parking lot in the evenings.
I don't know how many evenings he spotted her in a car with one of her male co-workers, but I remember that he confronted her and her lover in a car once.
My step-dad loved my mom and us children who he was raising well. He didn't ask for a divorce. Instead he demanded from my mother a ‘fresh start’ to their marriage. It didn't work.
They reached a divorce agreement in the late spring of 1982.
For the sake of the reputation of the woman he loved (my mother) he agreed to never say a word about my mother's infidelity. He accepted all of the blame himself. He left the marriage with his reputation in taters in order to save my mother's reputation.
That was the most romantic thing I have ever seen. I heard that he died some years ago. His name was Gary David Hall.
